If you saw Top Gear a few weeks ago, you’ll have seen a Mitsubishi Evo being chased and shot at by the army. This car had belonged to some random miscreant and when they had been caught and jailed (or whatever) their car had been condemned to be destroyed. Top Gear had acquired it and destroyed it in a much more amusing fashion than just crushing it.

My plan then is this: instead of crushing all of these perfectly functional cars that have been condemned to an unpleasant death, use them for entertainment. Give them to the various race tracks around the country and let people roll up and thrash them around the track for a nominal fee. People will be more likely to properly enjoy themselves in the car when they know nothing bad happens if they break it.

There could even be different classes – performance stuff like the Evo, and then banger racing with the less up-market stuff. People roll up and get the speed out of their system without fear of getting in trouble, they have a really enjoyable day then go home at a nice sedate pace also known as the speed limit. The government could even make a little bit of money out of it…though they can’t make it too expensive otherwise it defeats the purpose. A tenner or something like that should do the trick.

Another nice thing they could be used for is driver training. It doesn’t matter if they get totalled by someone messing it up – they were going to be crushed anyway! – and it might just make some drivers more confident and competent driving at the speed limit, particularly on A and B roads.

You never know, it might even give the owner of the car the chance to say a tearful farewell…